Hari
OM
Application - that is what 'Workings-days' are about!
We
have begun to look at what can counter the negatives in our personality. First
we saw determination; it comes first because, without the determination to
change, we will remain exactly where we are.
One
of the great liberators of our personality is FORGIVENESS. ( क्षाम/kshaama). To
pardon an apparent offence or debt without calling for any punishment is
forgiveness. In a forgiving mind, little harm arises, hatred and disgust are
defused. The forgiving personality has no bitterness but is merciful and
compassionate.
Real
forgiveness is extremely difficult.
Many, out of politeness, shrug their shoulders and mutter "it's
okay" - then go away and fester in the juices of their hurt and self-pity.
This is because the little ego is jumping around and stamping its feet! Equally
as many will not even make this false attempt. To forgive, we have first to see
what it is that we think caused us pain. Have we taken the event out of
context? Have we misread something? Is it that we have let a little thing go in
the beginning and now it has become a big thing?
At
all times we need to consider, too, that whilst we may be melting away in some
minor fury, the person or persons to whom our ire is directed may not at all
have any concern! Whether or not there was any genuine offence, we have to make
the decision to not let it cause us any more pain. To do this we need to engage in honest
forgiveness.
There
must be a truthful pardon of whatever it is we felt hurt by. Imagine the
offence to be like a promisory note which you no longer wish to call in;
instead, tear it in two and burn it.
Make it so that you have no idea of 'being owed'. The practice of
forgiveness means the letting go of any sense of grudge as well as a
determination not to take on any further complaint. To forgive at this level
strengthens and ennobles you; it saves your emotional energy, reduces the cost
of hatred and eliminates the waste of the spirit. Resentment no longer blisters
the heart or displeasures the mind.
If
there is a behaviour or language which is persisting and causing discomfort,
this needs to be addressed. One who is in a state of forgiving is better able
to say "Halt! This is no longer acceptable, it is causing pain. The past
errors are forgiven, but please refrain from doing this gain." This is the
strength which comes from balancing our personality.
Esteem
enables the setting of boundaries, informs better choices. Forgiveness is a
powerful weapon in your arsenal! The other may distrust it due to so many false
forgiving in the past. Do not carry
that. Ensure your heart is clear of
grudge and no longer is your mind twisted with thoughts of why or how.
Conversely,
it is imperative that we seek forgiveness when we become aware of any offense
we may have caused, any infringement of law or damage to property or person. We
may not know, of course. When we do, we must certainly ensure that it is known
that we are sorry and will endeavour to avoid such behaviour again. The greatest forgiveness of all, however, is
the forgiveness of ourselves. Somehow, somewhere, we get a voice in our head
that we are guilty of this or that, or that we are unclean in some way…. All
manner of nonsense gets written into our 'scripts'! To forgive yourself is also to reach out for
the hand of The Lord and confess the worry. The forgiveness flows down and we
can begin to destroy these inner barbs.
Indeed,
forgiveness is a powerful thing..
Already with determination and forgiveness we have seen that several of the negatives have been redressed. The positive is always the stronger path, but it can be the more difficult as it requires an inner courage which we so often lack
Thus
we must cultivate PATIENCE. Not just with others, but ourselves also. Each day
as we seek to bring in positive changes, we are likely to be challenged by Maya
in all her mischievousness. It is an uncanny fact that when we seek to follow a
new path, the old path will manage to throw bricks over and attempt to turn us
back! This is where we need to exercise the technique of titiksha; FORBEARANCE.
This is the ability to contain our temper and allow clemency for those things
and people who continue to block us. It is endurance for the long haul of life;
it is tolerance of others' errors and ignorance; it does not seek retaliation
and harbours no resentment.
Titiksha
holds mercy, sympathy, compassion, patience, forgiveness and strength of
will. It is stoicism; self-restraint and
the ability to be untouched by nonsense talks, insults and other such
vexations.
Titiksha
is supported by the other parts of the shamaadhi-shatka-sampatti. Lord Jesus and Lord Buddha were the very
embodiments of titiksha. Follow their example! Develop your titiksha,
strengthen your patience and reap the rewards.