Hari
Om
Each 'Choose-day' we will investigate the process by
which we can reassess our activity and interaction with the world of plurality
and become more congruent within our personality.
Continuing
posts prompted by the prasaadam grantha, "Gita in Daily life" by Sw.
Tejomayananda. Please note that technical terms
used here, which have been discussed previously, will not be elaborated or
translated. The labels cloud on side bar can be used to access specifics if you
are new or require refreshing as to meanings.
साधुष्वपि च पापेषु समबुद्धिर्विशिष्यते॥
suhRn-mitraaryudaasiina-madhyastha-dveShya
bandhuShu,
saadhuSvapi
ca paapeShu samabuddhirvishiShyate.
"Who
is the same in mind towards the good-hearted, friends, enemies, the
indifferent, the neutral, the hateful, relatives, the righteous or the
unrighteous; that one excels." (BG 6:9)
Last
week the principal of 'samataa' was focused on experience. This week, Equanimity About People. An essential part of
living! Above is a verse in the Gita which shines with this instruction.
This
is a large subject. It is perhaps the one for which most will seek to find
answers. In study groups all over the globe, achaaryas are responding to the
many and varied angsts which arise from "issues" of relationship, be
they of family, partner, business or wider world. It is a peculiarity of the
human beast that, no matter how often they are advised and instructed (and no
matter by whom), they will constantly seek to find the answers outside of
themselves. There is always the desire to make the other come round to our way
of thinking, not allowing for their
individuality and equal right to a point of view or behaviour.
We
categorise people based on the relationship we have with them; they may simply
be a well-wisher, or a very dear friend. Actual relatives my be close in blood
but necessarily feeling. It is very important to note that each relationship is
individual. Just because you get on really well with cousin George does not
mean that your sister or brother will feel equally comfortable with that
cousin. Equally, you have no involvement with how cousin George is with others
in his various circles. … and yet there are plenty folk who are invested in
such things. It is the stuff of soap operas. It is a fact of existing within
society that those who are closest to us are often the greatest challenge to
our inner balance. All we can do is take ourselves as the reference point from
which all relationships are managed and accept that those relationships, to a
large extent, will reflect what we project.
It is also not without cause that Lord Jesus commanded "Love thy
neighbour as thyself", for we need constant reminder that everyone with
whom we come in contact has the potential to bring us joy - or pain. If we are
the one standing in love we can overcome much. It matters not one jot what is
being said about our character in a foreign land, but if our street is abuzz
with rumour (whether or not there is basis), it greatly affects us; therefore
if we are standing equipoised in our character, any damage is minimised and any
frisson which perpetrators may have sought is also quashed.
When
we see an apple, we do not automatically judge it for not being an orange. A
lemon is a lemon is a lemon. Despite its similarities, it will never be a lime
and we never place that expectation or judgement upon it. We know fire to be
fire. To expect it not to burn us, even knowing its nature, says more about our
ignorance than about the fire's inherent danger. So it is with our interactions
with people. First we must learn their nature and come to understand that
we cannot necessarily 'get on' with the entire world. There are going to be folk
with whom we can form bonds and there are going to be folk who are inimical, an
aggravant, no matter what we do. Understanding the nature, we must avoid
excessive judgement, just as we do with the fruit. We simply have to accept
they are who they are and moderate our interaction, if it must occur,
accordingly. For example, if you come to understand that someone is
inconsistent with their dependability, you may offer them tasks to undertake
which will not cause disruption if they fail; but you will not give tasks upon
which your business depends. If that person wishes to gain a greater level of
trust from you, they will, in turn, modify their habits to become more
dependable.
Complaining
about someone never helped ourselves - or them. First we must accept who and
what they are. Next, if a relationship is necessary (particularly this applies
in work situations), then modify your own interaction at a level which will
minimise any effect from the other. This may, in some part, mean accepting the
rules that other person has set - say they are your elder at home, or the boss
at work. When you enter another's space, you are obliged, to some degree to
obey the rules of that space; but this must be done with congruency of
character. Do not 'play a part', for this will only lead to your own downfall.
Thus
if we follow the injunction of scripture, to love all equally, to keep our mind
balanced and focused on the task at hand, we can minimise the negativity which
might prevail and damage our relationships.
Thus
samataa - equanimity - within all things is a desirable life choice. Develop
the habit! Choose to balance your body, mind and spirit to react only at
nominal value; not to become numb, but to acknowledge the transient nature of
the experience. Equanimity is the golden rule of the Gita. With material
objects, understand the unique value of each and treat accordingly. With
experiences, maintain your poise regardless of the event. With people, accept
all as they are and relate appropriately.
