Hari
Om
Monday is AUM-day; in search of meditation.
We have been exploring the writings of Gurudev, through his book
'Meditation & Life'. All the instructive chapters have been rendered and
now there follows twelve 'chapters' which are designed for contemplation both
before and after each meditation session. Please note that the actual writings
of Gurudev are quite lengthy, so only the gist and key points are going to be
given here. You are
again encouraged to seek out a copy of the book to keep to hand as it is an
inspiration and with each reading something more will drop into place.
Ch. 30; The Present Moment
The
aim of meditation is the state of 'no mind'; a withdrawal of all extrovert
thoughts induced by contact with the world external to ourselves and a
containment of wandering thoughts of plotting and planning. So easily we reach
out to hold onto things and beings at the great cost of our spiritual being.
The
mind is a constant flow of thoughts. Those thoughts consist mostly of things of
the past, or projecting things of the future. All of us experience this. Depending on our basic nature from our
vaasanas, the balance of time spent in past or future may vary. Constantly the
mind presents us with regurgitations of memory; good, bad, indifferent,
inglorious, embarrassments, triumphs… so many, many things rise to be 'lived
again', either as a torture or as a pleasure. To live with past thoughts is to
live with the dead. So much energy can be wasted and dissipated through this
reliving of things which can not be changed, which cannot make any difference
to where we are now. It is important to note that the more we focus on things,
whether 'good or bad', the deeper we are binding ourselves to the vaasanas
which have thrown them up for notice in the first place. If we are to burn the
vaasanas, we must also ignore the thoughts.
Similarly,
the future can bind us, even though it is not arrived yet! It can of course be
useful to planning and even a little healing and relieving to allow the mind to
wander to the 'what ifs and if onlys'… but we all too readily can become
anchored in wishful and longingful thinking and having prepared an ideal
outcome in the future for ourselves, we are constantly setting ourselves up for
disappointments when that expectation is not met. Or we can stymie ourselves
from moving well in our future due to projected fears and anxieties.
Anticipation is one of the great cripplers of the personality.
Due
to the nature of our memories, the ego-self easily considers itself
'individual', something separate from the wholeness of creation. When all the
past memories arise, the ego grabs onto them and works them round to begin the
'painting' of the future that ego desires or fears. In doing this the ego-self
rarely has the ability to appreciate the very moment in which it sits. Not just
the smelling of roses or coffee, not just the feeling of the weather upon the
skin or the listening to a full-throated birdsong in the morning air; all are
present moments which become so speedily moments of the past. Truly sitting 'in
the moment' can result in a suspension of the concept of time altogether.
In
the seat of meditation, we can quite often become adept at shutting off the
thoughts of past… and fall into the trap of believing we have conquered the
mind, then start thinking on that and looking forward to the 'empty mind' -
only to miss the fact that now we are thinking in the future.
A
mind not engaged in thoughts of the external world very eagerly engages in the
internal and this is no less a hurdle to pure meditation as the external. It is
imperative that we are watchful of creating thoughts after we have succeeded in
stemming the flow of already existing thoughts in our hard storage. Once we
attain 'present moment' awareness, we must anchor ourselves there and there
alone. The Rsis constantly remark in this way, "moment to moment engage
the outgoing mind to live in the present. Completely reject the past. Renounce
the future totally - at this point, the agitated mind shall reach the state of
mindlessness."
It
is not the mindlessness of uncaring, stupidity, cruelty… but the mind-less
state of pure existence.
It
is here that we come closest to 'return to source' and understand what a
transient and inconsequential thing 'life', as we have till now comprehended
it, truly is. Gurudev says, "this is the
goal to be reached, the Truth to be realised, the experience divine to be lived
as the meditator's own essential Self. It is not a thing to be objectively
recognized or even intellectually comprehended; this state is to be spiritually
apprehended, in an immediate , personal, inner experience… meditation gets
fulfilled and the meditator becomes The Self, where the triple factors of
meditator-meditated-meditation become as one transcendent whole in the
condition of Self-realisation."
All
good and well. In the modern upsurge of desperation to reach the meditative
state, there are more reports of 'failure' in meditation than there are of any
success - and the those of 'success' are often caught in the trap of the
various stages towards transcendence. The goal is one to be coveted, but the
meditator cannot reach it without the necessary preparation. There can be no
dashing into the act of meditation. A
mountaineer seeks not to reach the summit by any other means than his or her
own sheer and physical effort, each step carefully assessed, all equipment
checked and secure. Helicopters to the top will not constitute having scaled
the mountain. Attempting the climb without having taken up exercises to improve
fitness and stamina is not only fool-hardy, but could result in disaster.
Falling back down the mountain, the fainter-hearted 'climbers' will turn and
say, 'that mountain cannot be climbed' and give it up.
Be
patient. Be steady. Strive continuously. Cultivate the qualities of a true
sadhaka as given in the scriptures. Hurry without haste. Hasten slowly.
