Hari
Om
Each 'Choose-day' we will investigate the process by
which we can reassess our activity and interaction with the world of plurality
and become more congruent within our personality.
We are reading "Tips for Happy
Living - jIvnsUÇai[
/jiivanasuutraani", by Swami Tejomayananda (Guru-ji). Choose-days writings
are here to prompt deeper thinking on the choices made on a daily basis and
seek to provide prompts for raising the standard of one's thinking and living.
This text composed in format of Sanskrit traditional teachings, speaks directly
to this purpose. As ever, the full text may be obtained from CM Publications - or your local centre
(see sidebar).
Chapter
5, now; Harmony in Relationships.
What
ought to be our attitude while dealing with people?
Jana
Aadr[Iya ivñsnIya n tu z<knIya>.1.
Janaa
aadaraniiyaa vishvasaniiyaa na tu shangkaniiyaaH ||1||
People should be respected and trusted, not suspected.
This
is echoed in Biblical scripture; 'do unto others as you would have others do
unto you'. It is a simple formula, yet how complicated we make it! We should
behave in the manner in which we ourselves would like to be treated. It applies
in all situations and at all levels in all types of relationships.
Living
in harmony with people is difficult. Some find it easier to deal with animals
or machines, as they are somewhat predictable and, moreover, are not so likely
to answer back. It can be said there are two kinds of folk; those who 'have'
difficulties and those who 'are' difficult. There are those who work and those
who take the credit. In families we live together, yet have difficulty 'living
together'. Strange and awkward are the human relationships! However, retreating
into a world of animals or machines or solitude does not help us. People have
to be dealt with at some time or other. How then to do this? What should our
attitude be?
All
too often we are on the defensive and we start out relationships with an
element of suspicion, always trying to second-guess what the other is thinking,
being suspicious of some underlying motive. We hold back our trust until the
other proves themselves to us. However, put yourself in the shoes of the one
being mistrusted and suspected. If you have to continually prove your worth,
does it not become wearisome, depressing even? Is there not then a tendency to
just give up? Similarly, to be the one always doubting means that one is not in
a happy space.
Surely
there are those who do not have the most unselfish motives in life, but we
simply cannot, for our own sakes, go around all the time suspecting and
accusing. When we trust others, we invoke some level of goodness in them in
turn. It may not be immediate, but very rarely can those who are 'difficult'
resist the force of good will. This is not to say one ought to lack caution;
particularly if a history is known. Nevertheless, trust in the values of
goodness and warmth of spirit. Almost without fail it will anyway draw the
people and relationships to you that you desire and will assist you also in
your spiritual progress. Look for the things which connect you rather than
separate you. There are quite likely to be some shared interests and even if these
are slender ropes upon which to sling a new relationship, they at least serve
as an anchorage from which to explore.
Respect
and trust are the firm foundation of all lasting and worthwhile relationships.
They are not automatic. They require building.
