Hari
OM
Application - that is what 'Workings-days' are about!
We
embarked on some thorny ruminations last week. The mirror of reflection had its
first polish. Remember that at any stage, where doubts, worries, anxieties
arise, do not hesitate to say 'help!' Reading these things in isolation can
sometimes lead to brooding or taking on of issues that are unnecessary.
Importantly, we must accept each thing which reveals itself to us, absorb it
and allow it to find its balance within us. Simple suppression is useful in
short-term protection. Long-term,
however, this can lead to 'time bombs', particularly in the next item on the
saadhaka's list…
ANGER;
there is not one single person among us who has not felt the surge of this
scourge. Let us be clear - there is a limited place for anger of the type which
can express itself clearly and has appropriate reasoning behind it. For example, the parent who scolds the child
who is about to put it's hand in the fire. This is a right and proper angry
outburst as it protects and warns. A
greater harm would have been done had it not been expressed. If, however, the
parent uses this form of interaction in all things the child does, all sorts of
negative consequences arise. Anger can build up like a pressure cooker,
particularly if we do not know how to properly express our needs or how to set
appropriate boundaries.
If
we are generally in a state of anger at the world around us, the world will
find a way to ensure that the anger gets fuel. This is a huge character
impairment and in society, for the most part, we learn to suppress or displace
our anger. Some of us become so adept at
this we will deny the possibility that we have any anger to release. The
problem then is that it can explode at the most unexpected times and often to
unrelated events.
This
is a widely recognised issue in modern thinking also and standard counselling
can do a lot to help us recognise and relieve ourselves of 'anger issues'. All
good and well for daily interaction.
Here in Vedanta-land, it is important to recognise and understand where
it is manifesting in other traits and root it out so as to not remain blocked
in our spiritual progress.
HATRED;
has a clear correlation to anger. Is it
possible to hate without the first? It is the placement of the anger outside of
us onto an object, situation or person.
We make the external the justification for our anger. This is
unwarranted. There is no place for
hatred in yourself or out in the world.
CRUELTY;
(incorporating other points in the list - EVIL THOUGHTS, ATROCIOUS DEEDS,
AVENGING NATURE). This needs little explanation. We all see cruelty taking
place each and every day in the world.
Hidden cruelty, though, is rife.
Society is starting to wake up to it; perpetration of unspeakable things
against the young and vulnerable; ignorance or sadism at work against animals;
husbands against wives, sometimes the reverse. It does not always have to be
this immense. We can sometimes be cruel
because the world hasn't given us what we want or expect, so we lash out in
some way; or with-hold. Not because it is an appropriate action but because we
somehow wish to exact some form of revenge.
CENSURE,
CRITICISM, MISCHIEF-MONGERING, BACK-BITING; these four items all hold a similar
context, hence are grouped together. Here we find levels of insecurity
informing our behaviour...though to be fair, that would be a true statement
about most of the negative character traits.
Invariably we are inclined to the negative because we are in a state of
low self-esteem; often without even recognising it. This does not mean that if one is in a
position of some authority or expertise that there ought not to be some
correction through criticism; it becomes counter-productive when it comes from
a basis of the personal or where there is clear design to aggravate the
'target'. All too frequently, when we are with familiar people, we can fall
into seeing things only in the negative and our interactions end up in this
bracket. We have all experienced
it...think sibling rivalry, a parent unsure of appropriate discipline, the child
rebelling..
A
word of caution. One of the things that may be arising is, rather than properly
looking in the mirror for our own tendencies to these things, we could be
thinking of times that such things were turned upon us. The bullying at school,
for example, the narcissistic partner or the megalomaniac boss. What can happen
is that we do our utmost to be the very opposite of these things. It is an
irony that in trying so hard 'not to be' we can end up in an equally negative
condition. There is an underlying drive behind all negativity. We shall deal
with it individually later, but can you think what it is?
