Hari
Om
Each 'Choose-day' we will investigate the process by
which we can reassess our activity and interaction with the world of plurality
and become more congruent within our personality.
THE
WISE AND THE OTHERWISE (cont'd)
The
Gita pointed to the need to eat well, to eat moderately, and to exercise
appropriately as well as to take sufficient rest. This, we saw, was for the
path of shreyas. Conversely, to be careless in our diet, to be gluttonous, to
be slothful and to 'burn the candle at both ends' is to be following the path
of preyas. The first is clean, clear and disciplined; the latter is less
inclined to such. Given that shreyas
gives a more sustaining lift to life, what can we expect in the various aspects
of living (family, profession, economic, social/national) if we adhere to that
intelligent choice?
FAMILY.
We
all want members of the family to be close-knit and happy. A home with an
atmosphere of loving, harmony, solace and security is very desirable. It is
possible to have such a place when all members of the family within that home
have a mutual Love and Respect; when all learn to share and care, give rather
than demand, take responsibility where pertinent, display tolerance and
displaying compromise where required.
In
such a home, all members would share 'quality time' all together; elders being
good role models for the younger generations, the younger acknowledging the
benefit of having the elders' wisdom and Love to support them. Values in such
homes are lived and are not simply paid 'lip service'. Family history, culture
and traditions are best handed down this way; differences solved through
listening and considered discussion; bonds strengthened. In such an atmosphere,
each individual finds personal growth and a freedom, even whilst maintaining
discipline.
All
too often we see families under strain. Relationships are slack and harsh words
are exchanged. Love and Respect get given short shrift - if they exist at all.
There is the idea in such groups that 'freedom' means to have no discipline
applied… or there are groups where the idea of 'discipline' is violence. In the
first instance, it is not freedom but licentiousness which is being fought for;
and the second instance, discipline is being used as an excuse for abuse and
lack of the very self-control which true discipline is about. Bear in mind that
this can all happen very quietly and coldly. There are parents who pour money
upon their children but without an ounce of genuine Love or any meaningful
communication, then wonder why the children are troublesome when the 'act out'
for attention.
Care
must be taken, also, for parents not give mixed messages; for example,
condemning politicians or local public officers for taking bribes and then
turning round and 'bribing' their son or daughter with promises of things in
return for their good grades at school. "Behave this way and you get
material benefit" is the signal. How much better and enduring would be the
approach of, "How can I support you in your study to help you achieve your
best?" Instead, counsellors and friends are called upon to patch up
breakdowns in understanding. The family puts up a united front despite all the
internal fractures.
To
achieve the closest we can to the first family, we must decide that shreyas is
our path of choice. Else we are destined to lumber along preyas, thinking it
will satisfy desires when all it does is frustrate them.
